Reasons I hate to love Fresh Market

Had the privilege to walk around our local Fresh Market today. I ended up just lingering around bad mouthing the place for being so welcoming. I did this for an hour. Why I was so disgusted with the place? Well:

-The free East African blended coffee just out for everyone's enjoyment. I get it, the coffee part. But these weren't sample size cups, these were "please enjoy this east African coffee because we're more than positive you'll never have it again" size cups. Shut up, Fresh Market.

-CBS had a news story on how glad the community is to finally have a Fresh Market, and spent a lot of the segment discussing their very divine potato salad variety. Okay Fresh Market, you have a deli. Oooooo. Potato salad isn't suppose to be 9 dollars, you can't make potato salad 9 stinking dollars!

-They seriously expected everyone to sanitize their buggy after each use, oh yeah Fresh Market because only you have worlds most responsible customers.

-Their sushi chef is Asain, and everyone who works in the bakery is plump. Go figure.



Ha. Fresh Market... I secretly love you so much.

I have to be up in 6 hours to drive 11 hours to Virginia tomorrow, but I can't sleep because I waited until the last night to get drunk. Such a smart and responsible lady I am. Shout outs to my neighbor who kept filling up my wine glass with that barefoot goodness. I'll be in a hospital somewhere in South Carolinar tomorrow, that's if I make it that far.

My little (6'4 170lb) brother is such a joy. He brings nothing but laughter and loves spending time with me. He loves me so much, that he literally recites his Facebook timeline to me and we laugh together at his very sad illiterate friends.

This was all before I had to literally scream at him for an hour to stop "free-styling" in my ear, because if anyone in this world will become a rapper it WILL NOT BE MY BROTHER. Not just because I just wouldn't allow such non sense, but because he just flat out sucks. Big time. But I love him anyways.

He also spent about 15 minutes forcing me to watch his favorite Rick Ross music videos on his very cracked iPod screen, while I was looking up banking information on my laptop. So it was very fun pushing his arm from in front of my computer screen while screaming "I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT THAT RIGHT NOW, ANTHONY" very loudly in his face to get him to stop. In return, he grabbed both my arms with one of his hands then placed the iPod 4 cm from my pupils. It was fun.

True bonding experience.

Oh, okay he just held both my arms down and blew his breath directly into my face. I love this kid all too much.

Are Lips are Arhhh Arhhh Arhhh, seals. Are Lips our Seals. OUR LIPS ARE SEALED.

because I heard this song in rite-aid while picking up my drugs, and it reminded me of the time when I actually thought I was going to "get into" The Go-Go's, but didn't because this was their only decent song.

Not a lot going on over here, honestly. Somethings I do believe I should be a little more excited about, but instead I'm being pretty vague toward:

My promotion. I did, in fact just get promoted. Now don't get me wrong I was pretty excited, then the excitement faded. Quickly.

I got an iPad. The new iPad. It's awesome, I love it. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what books I want to download electronically. I don't even know if I'm going to like reading books electronically.

New allergy medication works pretty good. I mean it's non-drowsy, what more could I ask for? At least now I can take my meds, and not retire the night. Right? So exciting.

The 60lbs I'm more than positive I've gained over my leave period. Who wouldn't be excited about being FAT!


Welp that's all I've got for now, because One Tree Hill is on, and I've got some catching up to do.
*that was me being serious.

Blogging this blog from my new iPad, it's so boss!

This is the conversation between my parents I over heard while I was sleeping (pretending to be sleeping) in my parents hotel room:

Dad: You know honey, we could've BBQ'd.
Mom: Tony, I'm not BBQing, I'm on vacation.
Dad: I don't need you to BBQ woman, and I was saying we could have. Damnit.
Mom: Why are you even thinking about BBQ, we're on vacation?
Dad: Shots*, I just saw folks BBQing outside, and thought it was a good idea.
Mom: Don't be a follower Tony, follow your own dreams.
Dad: It is my dream.
Mom: Whaterver, Tony.

*Shots or Schatzi is a German nickname my dads been calling my mom since before I can remember. I believe it means sweetheart or dear. Okay, I looked it up it means sweetheart or dear.

Boat Woes

"Sometimes you need to cry a little bit. So you start crying, but it ends up being a lot because: you have all this built up anger raging through the core of your soul, and you literally have no one to vent to, because those who surround you are the "haha, let's watch porn at work" kind of people and you can't find it in your heart to take them seriously, and then you loose a tool at work...but your story doesn't add up so it looks like you're a liar and all you want to do is scream "I'M NOT A LIAR!" because you're in the Navy and it's not like the pressure to be prestige isn't enough, and all you want to do is call your dad but you can't because its like 4am at home, and the only phone on this piece shit boat is a pay phone and the LAST thing you want is to get caught "crying to daddy" by some idiot big headed sailor and become the laughing stock of the ship, so you sit by yourself in a corner typing up run-on-sentences like a damn fool." - written by the angel below on May 13th @ 5:07 am.

             

                                   

First of all, how would you become the laughing stock of the whole ship idiot? Their are over 4,500 people aboard, and your issues are irrelevant. Stop being a baby.

I really love my sister, glad we get to be sisters for a week.

First time I open my photo booth in months, and this is the rainbow I give to you.

So because my stuff has been in storage over the 90 days I was given, I was forced to pull out my "oh boy, haha thought my stuff was going to end up on storage wars" joke on 3 telemarketers, and got 0 laughs.

You know what the absolute most confusing thing is? Because it just came to me. Hit me like a pound of feces straight in the mouth. Just foul, and eye opening at the same time.

So YOU KNOW ME and my satanic allergies, right? Well I'm just sneezing away, just going about my congestive business...and my very openly atheist friend says "god bless you, homie". So I look deep into his soul to confirm his sarcasm, and he was being all kinds of sincere. Not that I said anything, because I didn't, but I'm not going to lie I was pretty confused. Like did he forget that he didn't, oh I don't know, believe in GOD? Orrrrrrrrrrr, is saying "God Bless You" after a sneeze kinda like saying "Happy Birthday"? Oh, okay so initially saying "God Bless You" isn't in fact a blessing after all, BUT just a way to acknowledge the sneezer? Got it.

Anyways guys, are we genuinely just dishing off blessings to every single hoodrat who decides to sneeze in our presence? Whatever, from now on only he who has the power of Thor is worthy of my blessings. So don't go sneezing around me and expect a damn thing.



Kaboom.